


If You Turn Around You're Back At The Start

by Ranua



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Big Bang Challenge, Gen, Pre-Canon, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-27
Updated: 2012-03-27
Packaged: 2017-11-02 14:24:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/369964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ranua/pseuds/Ranua
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel: from heaven to Winchesters. Or: You can choose new family but the old is still there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Turn Around You're Back At The Start

**Author's Note:**

> Big thank yous to my beta reader, MutedByFear, without whom this would have way worse grammar. Any errors you find are all on me cos despite firmly believing the damn story is cursed and not wanting anything else to do with it, I can't stop touching it. And thank yous to my alpha reader, Dodger_Sister, who reassured me it didn't suck and it did make sense. Two things ran through my head constantly during the writing of this story: the song Violin by Amos Lee and a mangled quote from Buffy about how monsters don't change. Neither helped the cursed thing get done any faster, but it gives a frame of reference as to where my head was at for the story.

In the beginning, they are woven together through Gods will, existing harmoniously as beings of celestial intent.

All the choirs and ranks of angels sing love and praises to their Father. They play at war games like children vying for their Father's attention, full of joy at victory and sorrow at loss. God, their Father, consoling the losers as he praises the victors. Brother to brother they play and fight and live in the glory of Gods grace.

Then God says unto them, 'Look upon humanity, they are in my image and I love them and you will love them as well.'

As beings made to love there is no question that they could love humanity, however some amongst the ranks questioned why they should. Why should they love these creatures made of mud and blood? Why did Father love them? Were the choirs and ranks of angels not enough? What could these creatures of flesh give to Father that they didn't already give?

In answer He tells them to watch, see what these fragile humans can do and to love them as he loves them because they are fragile and flawed. For the love of their Father most of them obeyed his directive, they can't conceive of doing any different. However, some amongst the host, those that had questioned first and loudest, continued to voice questions and doubts.

===

Gabriel lives in the light of the love of his Father and brothers. His existence is defined by pleasurable boarders with every action done in love and harmony. He visites with Joshua in the garden, chasing his apprentice Jehudiel through the branches and leaves, he sits with Sealtiel and plays with Sealtiel's apprentice the young inquisitive Castiel as they gaze across the edge of the universe and he commiserates with Metatron and his stoic little Marmoniel in all their fiery glory at the right hand of their Father's throne.

As much as he loves and enjoys the company of these other angels, it is with his closest siblings he feels happiest. The triad he, Michael, and Sammael form is a bare second in importance to the love he feels for his Father. Even with the disagreements his oh so different brothers readily and repeatedly engage in there is love and belonging with them. He provids the balance between Michael's blind obedience and Sammael's eternal questioning. Being in their presence sooths him in a way not even his Father can. They twist and twine their graces together until it isn't possible to distinguish if they are one being or many.

As much as he loves his brothers and feels most complete when wrapped up with them, at times the jagged edges of their differences tear at him and he needs a respite. At those times he can be found with the apprentices and fledges in the nursery, especially the triad of Castiel, Marmoniel, and Jehudiel. He loves the games the crèche minders play with the youngsters and joins in every chance he gets. The fun, freedom and joy of playing with the young angels relaxes and rejuvenates him.

When Father directs them to love humanity, true to his nature, it is Sammael who questions longest and loudest. He has ever been jealous of Father's attentions and is vocal in his dislike of Father 'replacing' them with humanity. Michael, true to his nature, obeys Father without question. He studies humanity endlessly learning to love them unconditionally as Father does, sharing all he learns with any angel that will listen. 

To Gabriel's consternation Michael and Sammael argue endlessly on the topic. Michael always trying to sway Sammael to obey and Sammael always wanting to know the why of it all.

'Sammael,' Michael chides, 'you must do as Father says. He says we are to love humanity, but you question and disobey.'

'Michael,' Sammael sighs, 'don't you ever want to know why Father tells us to do these things?'

Michael can only look at Sammael in confusion at the question. It makes Gabriel laugh and his happiness tinkles through their combined grace breaking the burgeoning tension. 

Gabriel's attempts at mollifying his brothers never last for long though. Michael and Sammael continue to butt heads over Father's command to love humanity. It eventually spreads from an argument between the brothers to a disagreement amongst the all the ranks and choirs as sides are choosen. The majority follow Gods directive to love humanity, content to do as He commands, however there are enough who feel as Sammael does that for the first time true division comes to the host.

For those that disagree over loving humanity it seems as though God their Father is turning away from them and as Father becomes more distracted by humanity the division amongst the angels became greater. Dissension appears where there has only ever been harmony. The games they play take on a new edge, where for the first time being on a side has meaning and victory becomes something that is fiercely sought instead of a happy outcome. Even as the war games become more violent God does not interfer, all His attention focused on humanity. 

Sides chosen through opinion carry over from the games to the rest of their lives. Never before have the choirs of angels snubbed or rebuffed each other as happens now. Due to his rank amongst the host Gabriel is only gently pressured to pick a side. He refuses. He fails to understand why his brothers can't get along despite their disagreements, the love they share as family should bridge such differences.

He continues to play peacemaker and provide balance between his stubborn brothers. The time they spend wrapped in each other diminishes as the arguing escalates however, until Sammael and Michael refuse to spend time together. Gabriel is heart-broken, he's sure if he could just get his brothers to meld with himself and each other then what he sees as a simple misunderstanding will disappear with the strength of their love for each other. 

As his brothers withdraw further from each other and consequently from him he spends more and more of his time with the other angles who refuse to choose sides, those whose jobs are beyond the pettiness of the host. Joshua in the garden, Sealtiel on the cosmos edge, and Metatron beside the throne of God become his refuge from the bickering and tension that has overtaken his once peace filled and harmonious home.

As the relationships between the ranks of the host detiriorate, Castiel and the rest of his aspect, Marmoniel and Jehudiel, come under his protection. Metatron and Sealtiel both come to him with the same request; with their unique positions in the host they are sorely needed and cannot spare the time or energy to protect their apprentices. They can see that this war which is starting amongst the host could go badly and would Gabriel with his unique place in the new hierarchy please watch over their apprentices.

Only Joshua doesn't approach Gabriel directly, but Jehudiel's presence with his brothers proves that Joshua feels the same as the rest of his triad. It sobers Gabriel that three of the most powerful of the host feel that things could go badly enough that their apprentices need protection.

As the militarization of their war games spread to all aspects of life Gabriel agrees to lead a garrison, but not for the reasons his brothers think since he won't pledge his support to either. He takes in all those bewildered as he by the fighting, those that have no desire to take sides but don't have the rank to stay out of the fray like Joshua, Metatron or Sealtiel. He provides the shelter and safety that has become suddenly, frighteningly absent from heaven with the promise that he will lead and protect them to the best of his ability.

===

Gabriel is a good general and tactician and he leads his garrison well, keeping his charges safe - as he should as one of the original archangels - but this war is becoming too much. How long does Father expect them to fight, brother to brother with anger instead of joy, before He steps in? Sadly, even he is starting to think Father is too enamored of humanity to take notice of what's going on in heaven.

It's gone on long enough he decides. Michael will never question Father and all Sammael does is question Father and therein lies the root of the problem between them. His previous efforts to mend the division between his brothers may have failed but he knows he must try again. As the third of their aspect it's up to him to mend things, there is no other being, save Father, who can make his brothers see reason. It's his place in their triad to provide balance between the other two and his failure to do so has made this mess as much his responsibility as theirs. 

Using his position as the Herald and shamelessly exploiting his relationship with Michael, he bypasses the ranks of angels his pomp loving brother has surrounded himself with and approaches Michael directly.

'Gabriel,' Michael greets him warmly, twining about Gabriel in a long missed combination of their graces. 

'Michael', Gabriel returns the greeting, grace surging into the sorely missed touch. The only thing that would make it better, Gabriel thinks, is if Sammael were here too.

'Have you finally come to your senses and declared yourself and your garrison on our Father's side?' Michael asks. 'You can't hide out forever,' he chides gently.

Gabriel doesn't try to hide the wince his brothers words cause in his being. 'Why are you and Sammael unable to work out your disagreement without this violence?' he asks. 'The war games have always been fun, but it is becoming far too serious, someone is going to get badly hurt and then Father is sure to intervene.'

'You wouldn't understand,' Michael pulls away from him, agitation in every line of his being.

'Let me try, please,' Gabriel pleads. 'Explain to me; make me understand because this needs to stop before it can't be fixed.'

'Sammael is disrespecting and disobeying Father and he won't stop,' Michael spits out. 'Father said to love humanity as we love him and Sammael won't.'

Gabriel reels at the anger in Michael's voice. 'That is what it's about?' he asks incredulously. 'Sammael disobeying Father and demanding his attention? He's always demanded he be the center of attention, mine, yours, Father's. There must be more, Michael. Please, talk to me.' Gabriel pleads, trying to get through to his brother.

Michael has ever been the stubborn one though, never giving an inch when he thinks he may have been slighted by another being, his brothers included. 'There's nothing more to say if you're going to take his side,' the other angel states.

Gabriel would swear Michael was pouting. 'Michael, mine own,' Gabriel approaches his brother, reaching out with his grace to sooth and share, 'I don't want to pick a side. I want my brothers back in harmony with me.'

Michael willingly reaches back to Gabriel, their graces twisting together once again, but his angry words belay the feelings he's sharing. 'If Sammael continues to refuse to obey Father I can't forgive him Gabriel. He is wrong, Father is right and he must see that.'

Sighing, Gabriel knows he will get no farther with this brother. Michael is stubborn to a fault and it seems he won't be swayed by anything less than a direct order from their Father at this point and that does not look to be forthcoming any time soon.

He lets their graces twine and mesh, sharing sorrow and love. Gabriel tries to sooth the void he can feel the division of their triad has caused in both their graces. He knows though, that only reconciliation will heal this hurt and if he can't get stubborn Michael to bend perhaps he can get mercurial Sammael to change his mind. 

Going to Sammael, Gabriel receives much the same enthusiastic greeting as from Michael and it gives him hope that reconciliation is possible between his brothers. If they both still greet him the same way, surely they would greet each other just as joyously.

'Gabriel!' love and happiness at his brother's appearance streak through Sammael's grace for any to see. He has always been the more demonstrative of the three.

'Sammael.' Gabriel returns the greeting warmly, his grace already enveloped in Sammael's.

'Have you come to declare your little protectorate to me?' His teasing colors that which could sound condescending. 

'No Sammael. They are mine to look after and I would not betray the faith placed in me by others.' Gabriel's tone is firm with the more volatile of their triad. He may not be as serious minded as Michael, but he would never betray the trust placed in him by his family.

His mood turning on an instant Sammael snaps, 'Have you come to sway me to Michael's side then?'

'No Sammael,' Gabriel repeats, never lessening the presence of his grace, long used to arguing with his brother while twined so intimately with him that arguments are nearly moot before they are made. 'I've come to ask you to stop the fighting.' 

Using a selfish argument, knowing Sammael is likely to respect that more than any selfless motivation, he continues, 'You don't have to agree with Michael or Father, all I care about is my brothers reconciling and coming back to me.' The longing threading his being must be visible to all who care to look.

'I'll stop if he will,' is Sammael's expected answer, impervious as usual to Gabriel's manipulations.

'Humanity isn't that bad Sammael.' Gabriel tries a different tact. 'Any creature Father loves so much must be worth our time and love as well.'

Sammael pulls away with an angry twitch, 'Why should we venerate these useless mortals the way we love Father? Why is he giving them so much attention?'

'You know he doesn't love us any less,' Gabriel stretches his grace back out to his brother but Sammael avoids the connection.

'Everything is different now.' Sammael's mood shifts again from petulant child to hurt betrayal, 'I don't like the way it's changed and Michael refuses to listen me.' 

'Michael is Michael, brother, the same as always. Why is it different now?' Gabriel is getting tired of the seemingly endless loop of 'he won't listen' from both brothers. It's trying his admittedly limited patience.

'Humanity makes it different,' Sammael snaps. 'They are taking all Father's time and attention and I won't stand for it. If I have to fight through every angel in every garrison to make Michael see that these mortals are taking our Father away from us and we need to do something to stop it I will.' Real anger that matches Michael's now colors Sammael's tone and grace.

'You are both being selfish! Not at all like the brothers I thought I knew.' Gabriel himself snaps, his store of patience at an end. 'I don't know that I want anything to do with you anymore.' He cannot understand this animosity between his brothers. He doesn't know where it came from or how to put an end to it and it's making him angry.

'Brother, don't go away angry,' Sammael pleads, reaching out now with his grace to sooth. 'You know I love you as I love Michael and Father. I'm not angry at you but you have to understand.'

Gabriel twitches away from his brother, hurt and anger coloring his being. 'I don't have to see anything, Sammael. You are being just as logic-blind as Michael.' He wraps his grace tight around his being in hurt. 'I'm going to the garden. Joshua, at least, is rational.'

Instead of Joshua however, it's his Father Gabriel finds in the garden. It's been so long since he's been in his Father's presence he throws himself at his Father's feet in relief.

God welcomes him into his light and it's a balm to Gabriel's troubled grace.

'Michael and Sammael shouldn't be fighting,' mutters Gabriel, his grace thrumming with grief and frustration.

'They've always disagreed,' God soothes. 'You each bring a trait to your triad and yours is to balance your brothers. They will listen to you.'

'I don't think they're going to listen to me this time,' he sighs. 

After a moment or eternity of basking in his Father's presence he continues, 'Why can't you talk to them?' he asks. 'Tell Sammael that you don't love him any less for loving humanity. Tell Michael that he doesn't have to obey without bending.' He knows he's daring, questioning his Father like this, but he feels he has nothing left to lose.

He knows too that God knows exactly the sadness and desperation Gabriel is feeling. Knows Gabriel is afraid for the first time in his existence. Afraid that he could lose the brothers that help define his existence. The knowledge that his Father knows him so thoroughly is a comfort that eases the pain and frustration he feels toward those brothers.

God provides no answers however, only wraps Gabriel up in the warmth of his love and Gabriel is soothed and his faith that Father will fix the divide between his brothers is firm.

===

Father doesn't fix it.

Not only does someone get hurt in the new, harsher war games, an angel dies. God is furious and it is frightening to see. Heaven is ablaze with his wrath and all the ranks and choirs tremble in fear to see it. He demands that Michael cast out Sammael for the damage his pride has caused to the host.

Michael is equally furious at Sammael, making it easy for him to do as his Father commands. Gabriel is left reeling at the pronouncement, stunned that it has come to this. Stunned one of their brethren is dead, that Father said to cast out Sammael and that Michael is actually doing it.

Sammael is stunned too, but his pride and anger won't let him beg forgiveness. Gabriel goes to Sammael and begs him to do whatever it takes to avoid the fate of being cast out. 'You must apologize!' Gabriel demands. 'Grovel if you must brother, anything to avoid being cast out.'

Sammael is calm and logical to Gabriel's dismay. 'I cannot brother. I'm right, I'm sure of it. I have tremendous sorrow at the death of our brother but something of this magnitude was bound to happen as long as Michael and the others refuse to see the damage humanity is doing to our relationship with Father. He will turn his back on us in favor of humans. You and Michael just can't see it yet.'

Gabriel ignores most of what Sammael says, blaming it on his brothers shock and wounded pride, he can't really mean to sound so callous, Gabriel is sure. 'When Michael gets over his anger, and he will, he'll be heartbroken at what he's done to you. You can't let him break our aspect like this,' Gabriel pleads. 'I'll be heartbroken if you are cast out; regardless of what has been done you are still my brother and a part of me.'

Sammael twines his grace with Gabriel in that most familiar way. 'You will always be a part of me, but I have to do this. I have to make this point. I know I'm right.'

With a heavy heart Gabriel leaves his brother. He feels as though he's being torn to pieces and that he has failed by being unable to bring the rest of his aspect into balance. He stays far away from the final confrontation between Michael, Sammael, and their followers.

He can't not watch though and even from a distance he can sense Sammael taunt Michael, knowing it's Sammael's way of making it easier for Michael to carry out their Father's command. For as much as Michael obeys Father without question, he takes the responsibility for all mistakes on himself. And this one could break him if he thinks Father is wrong in anyway. Gabriel knows Sammael knows this and is making it so Michael can believe Sammael is wholly deserving of being cast out.

Gabriel is transfixed by the battle - the two armies meeting on a field of anger with the very air trembling from the emotions of the combatants. He's not the only one who cannot bear to take part in the battle, many others watch from afar as well, entranced by the horror that has come to their home. Even some of those whom have choosen sides cannot bear to take part in the actual battle and hide on the sidelines.

It is a furious conflict, with Sammael and Michael in the center of the seething mass of angels. They are evenly matched Gabriel knows. Trading blow for blow with the ease of long practice while the ranks around them stumble and shout, shedding the blood of brothers without hesitation. It is by far the most horrific thing Gabriel has ever witnessed, his entire being weeps at the senseless loss.

Then Sammael stumbles and Michael presses the advantage. With a swift twist of his blade he has Sammael at his mercy. Defeated but defiant Sammael allows Michael to cast him down to earth, those closest to him falling with him; Remiel and the Grigori who stood beside him and even some of those hiding on the edges are caught up in the decent.

Now they are on earth with the humanity they held in such contempt.

Peace doesn't return to heaven with the casting out of Sammael and his faction. There are enough angels remaining who agreed with Sammael that his beliefs don't die away. Not only that, but the casting out of Sammael causes a new divide between angels. Some among the host believing that God did the right thing in casting out Sammael for the horrible sin his pride caused, and others heartbroken that Father could ever do such a thing to one he loved so well.

There are no overt sides declared, but everyone knows whose side they're on. The divisions color every aspect of life and the infighting doesn't stop. No one else wants to be cast out like Sammael however, so the dissent stays quiet. They even still play at war games, but they are no longer an enjoyable event. The games have become a grim reminder of what can happen and there is no love lost between the opposing sides.

Some amongst Sammael's faction have taken to calling him Lucifer, the Morning Star, brightest of them all. In his more maudlin moments, Gabriel agrees with the assessment, missing his brother with a painful intensity. He's bereft without Sammael and Michael is no solace, lost in his own grief and anger, he rebuffs all of Gabriel's overtures at shared grieving.

Feeling lost and tired Gabriel decides he's done his duty by Metatron, Sealtiel and Joshua and sends their apprentices back to them, cautioning the young angels to stay with their mentors and out of trouble. He disbands the rest of his garrison with the fervant hope to never take up arms against any of his brethern again.

Life does settle into a semblance of the normal that existed before conflict tore through the ranks, though the picking and sniping never stops, even among those that are nominally on the same side. For some reason, probably because of his refusal to take a side or perhaps due to his relationship to Michael and Sammael, his brethren feel he's the one to bring their petty grievances to. 

Why they can't go to Metatron he doesn't know, he's the Herald, not the Voice, what does he know of mediation? He couldn't keep his own triad together so why do they think he can be of any help to them? He tries to mediate between them as best he can but it wears on him and his patience is thin. 

Why were they having these petty disagreements anyway? Couldn't they see everything was different now? That the biggest disagreement of them all had lost them brothers and sisters? Gabriel sometimes wonders if he is the only one left with any sense. None of the others seemed to feel the same grief for their lost siblings as he does.

Father is more elusive than before, due either to his own grief or to his disappointment at what the angels have done, no one knows. All Gabriel wants is to spend time in the quiet, calm, serenity of his Father's presence. He wants to escape the near constant demands that he mediate conflicts between his brothers and the hundred other administrative details that Michael has always overseen. It seems, however, that peace isn't his to find.

===

Ever since Sammael's pride brought him low - and no matter his maudlin thoughts his brother would always be Sammael to Gabriel, never Lucifer - heaven isn't the same. The ranks are in disarray and depression, they've never had to fight each other before. Drills and maneuvers that had only been fun and games had turned serious and the choirs of angels were still reeling.

Occasionally Gabriel does find his Father and he always feels so much better for the time spent in Father's presence. The peace and calm that infuse his grace is healing. He wishes his siblings would seek out Father and do the same. Maybe then the fighting would stop. 

Gabriel has a suspicion that he, Joshua, Sealtiel and Metatron may be the only ones who have seen their Father since Sammael was cast out and it's confirmed one day while Gabriel is sitting with Michael. His brother finally breaks his silence and speaks with him, crying out in pain that Father has forsaken him. That he was only doing as he was bid when he cast Sammael and the others out and it isn't fair to be punished for following God's orders.

Gabriel tries to offer solace but even in his grief Michael still turns him away. Hurt to the core, Gabriel doesn't understand Michael's pulling away. Doesn't he know he's punishing them both by denying Gabriel the oppurtunity to help ease his grief and pain by sharing it? It's as though with one fell command Gabriel has lost both the brothers that mean the most to him.

When he can't take the sadness of Michael or the demands of the rest of the host, he escapes to the crèches and plays with the fledges. He claims he's training them but mostly they play; chasing each other across the fields of Heaven in daring flights and tumbling through the ether in laughter. When they finally land from exhaustion Gabriel tells stories and impresses on them the importance of their bonds. His sadness and loss are palpable when he does, but it is by far the happiest times he has these days.

He sneaks down to earth once - he misses his brother so badly no edict of his Father's could keep him away forever - it's only a quickly snatched moment, he's worried that his volatile brother will do something drastic in his banishment.

He's right to worry as he finds that Sammael and the other fallen have taken to deviling humanity; that Lucifer and his demons have become bogymen to the humans.

'Why?' Gabriel questions his brother. 'Why are you doing such a thing? It's one thing to question our Father, but to deliberately set out to anger him? That's madness brother!'

'Nothing I do matters,' spits Sammael. 'Father has been ignoring everything but his precious humans for so long. I can show him they are not worth his love like I am.'

'Sammael,' Gabriel sighs, reaching out to his brother, distraught at the pain and anger he can feel rolling through his brothers grace. 'It's madness,' he repeats. 'Please,' he begs, reaching out with his grace for connection, to offer his love.

'It's not enough,' Sammael sighs, allowing Gabriel's grace to slide through his. 'I do love you brother,' he says. And to Gabriel it sounds like good-bye.

===

It comes as a surprise to Gabriel when Father himself appears in all his fiery glory to the ranks of angels and declares that the Watchers have perpetrated an abomination on earth and they must be dealt with. It's the first time God has appeared to all the ranks since declaring Sammael - whose name is never mentioned anymore - was to be cast out.

He calls upon Gabriel, Michael, Raphael, Uriel and Suriel to go down to earth to take care of the problem. It invigorates Michael to once again be given clear orders to follow and for that Gabriel is thankful. His brother acting more like himself than he has since Sammael's fall makes Gabriel very happy. 

Gabriel himself has never spent much time on earth so Father's command, even given in fiery anger, is like a call to adventure. For all that the war in heaven had been heartbreaking, fighting is what the archangels are good at and it is a pleasure for it to be aimed at a worthy foe.

The desire for a righteous fight aside, Gabriel has hopes to see Sammael again while on the earthy realm. He has worried about his brother since the brief visit he managed to sneak in shortly after Sammael fell.

It turns out he was right to worry, he hears disturbing things from the Watchers they question. They say that Sammael appeared to them in the guise of Lucifer and led them to believe that what they'd done was a part of Gods plan. That God himself wanted them to lay with human women in order to produce a new kind of being to worship God the Father's glory.

Before Gabriel can find and confront Sammael over the rumors, the fighting comes to a head. Gabriel easily manages to turn the giants on each other for they are monstrous things with none of the grace of angels or humanity about them. The Nephilim are truly abominations against creation; not only that they looked to be deliberately made abominations, but that their creation was influenced by an evil hoping to turn human against divine.

After the pitched battle and clean up Gabriel goes looking for his brother, a terrible suspicion forming in his mind. When he finds him, Sammael is not the angel Gabriel remembers with such love; he's become a swaggering, overconfident jerk and he has the nerve to ask Gabriel to join him in his rebellion against Father. 

'I can't do that Sammael.' Gabriel is saddened at how Sammael is reacting to being cast out. He had held out hope that there could be reconciliation between Sammael and their Father, that he'd get his family back. But this creature Sammael has become, this Lucifer, deviling humanity, slinking through the muck of evil in order to start a new war with heaven, this was not the brother of his memories.

'Don't call me that!' Sammael snaps, still the mercurial, petulant child. 'My name is Lucifer.'

Gabriel scoffs, 'Your name is Sammael now and forever. It's the name our Father gave you.' Any patience Gabriel may have had is fast waning in the face of Sammael's anger.

'Exactly! I don't need anything from him, least of all a name.' 

The mix of defiance and anger saddens Gabriel. Worse, Sammael pulls back from the embrace of Gabriel's grace, refusing the closeness that they'd shared for millennium.

Gabriel misses his brother. He's never been separated from Michael and Sammael like he is now. He'd not known the hole it would leave in his grace to go without his brothers. He'd hoped that seeing Sammael would ease that ache and that things could go back to the way they were, that Sammael could come home.

Plaintively Gabriel asks, 'How do you stand being without our brothers? How can you stand being without Michael and I?'

Sammael sneers at Gabriel with contempt Gabriel has never felt from his brother. 'I don't need you. If you won't join me I don't need you. Since you were once my brother I will allow you to leave. If you come back it had better be to join me. I won't be so merciful a second time.'

Gabriel is cut to the quick by the malice in his brother's tone, it's as though a very part of his being has turned against him. That Sammael's pride and anger have brought him to this is nearly unthinkable. Pulling himself together, he suppresses the hurt he feels, radiating his full power as the Herald of the Lord their Father.

'Regardless of what you call yourself or what you do with yourself, you and I and Michael are still part of the same aspect. You will always be a part of it. You will never escape us.' Righteous anger fuels Gabriel as he wills himself away from Sammael's presence.

Even faced with what Sammael has become he is still sure that he and Michael together can sway their brother back from this dark precipice. For as much anger and disdain as Sammael's words had held Gabriel has always been able to see into his brothers grace and knows the truth. Sammael does miss him and Michael desperately and he does long to come home to them and Father.

He is too late. Michael is just as smart as Gabriel and using his own resources he's learned that the creation of the abomination of the Nephilim is directly a result of Sammael's machinations. There is no missing the echo of Michael's righteousness and anger through their bond when he learns the truth. Gabriel knows he will go directly to their Father with the information. Knowing that Sammael knows what his brother will do is even worse. All hope of reconciliation is dashed on the rock of Michael's blind devotion to duty.

Gabriel catches Michael before he can reach their Father, confronting him. 'How can you do this to our brother!' He shouts and rages, his grace seething and bubbling with confusion and anger. 

'He is doing more than disobeying our Father! He is acting against him and causing others to act against Gods will.' Michael matches him anger for anger, righteousness flaring from his core like a fiery halo.

'He is part of us Michael,' Gabriel states firmly, calming in the face of Michael's anger. 'Why are you hurting us like this?' he pleads, falling into his usual roll of peace maker. 'Why would you cause this division between us three? Why can't you and Sammael mend your divide?'

'Do not call him that!' Michael continues to rave in the face of Gabriel's pleading. 'He gave up rights to the name Father gave him when he acted to willfully harm Fathers beloved humans! He wants to be the Morning Star! Let him burn bright in hell!'

Gabriel is left reeling from the force of Michael's anger and betrayal, unable to think beyond the moment, only knowing it is the end of his world.

When Michael goes to their Father with the news of Sammael's corruption of the Watchers and his meddling in the creation of the Nephilim, the waves of God's anger radiate throughout heaven. God again appears before the assembled host, and all of the ranks and choirs tremble in the face of his anger.

'Watch,' is the command that rumbles through the ranks. 'Learn,' reverberates after.

And every angel from the lowest fledgeling to the highest archangel can feel the boundaries between the realms thicken and firm, making it more difficult for any of the ranks of heaven to move between them. No angel will be traveling between the realms without the whole of the host knowing.

Gabriel feels it through his entire being when next God scoops up Sammael, slamming him into a cage deep in the netherworld. His grace cries out in unbearable pain and sorrow. His, Michael's, Sammael's, they are all three twined together, crying out in the same horrified voice.

Their connection cuts off with a sickening snap leaving Gabriel with nothing but the faintest of threads between he and Sammael and a wall of pain where Michael has pulled away, retreating in on himself.

In his rage God banishes the Watchers and Grigori from heaven and earth as well. Even through his pain Gabriel knows without a doubt that nothing good can come from such an action. As a tactician he knows that giving an enemy a reason to fight back is the worst thing you can do.

In the aftermath of Sammael's imprisonment Michael shuns Gabriel's presence entirely. The devastation they'd felt in the moment Sammael was put into the cage being the last time their graces connect. In what Gabriel sees as an act of denial Michael buries himself in the administrative minutia of heaven. 

It is as though with the punishment of Sammael, Gabriel has lost both his brothers. He wants to be angry at Sammael and Michael both for leaving him, but all he feels is guilt that he couldn't convince them to reach out to each other. If he is supposed to be the balance between the extremes of blind devotion and constant questioning then he's failed, and it cuts him to the core.

The firming of the boarders between the realms doesn't bring stability. The divisions and snipping continue amongst the ranks of angels and it seems once sides have been chosen there is no going back. The banishment of the Watchers and Grigori only adding to the reasons for brother to snipe at brother, giving new ammunition to feuds that had developed when Sammael was originally cast out.

Gabriel continues to spend time in the garden, looking for his Father or ducking his brothers. Less and less often is Father to be found in there, or any other place in heaven that Gabriel can feel. Joshua isn't any help, only smiling his sad enigmatic smile and offering to let Gabriel help in the garden. Occasionally Gabriel even takes him up on the offer, the peace found in the simple chores a deeply needed solace.

In a way, he doesn't blame his Father for being unreachable. It has become, at least for Gabriel, draining to deal with the anger and pettiness that has over taken the host. The endless bickering has Gabriel hiding out in Joshua's garden or the nursery as often as he can, his brothers always eventually find him however, wanting one thing or another. 

He is tired of the endless squabbles and what he views as imaginary grievances. He doesn't understand how the tragedy of their brothers being cast into the depths of a netherworld they've never seen isn't bringing them together. Where there should be unity in grief there is only division in anger. Perhaps, he thinks, it is because emotions and the consequences of them are so new, an experience the host has never had so they don't know how to process it.

A unity of purpose could bring his brothers back together he thinks; an event that has nothing to do with the emotional maelstrom of the forcible eviction of Sammael and the others. If the host had one thing to focus on, one thing that affected them all regardless of what faction they were aligned with, surely they would come together. 

His brothers come to him with every little problem and request. If it isn't to mediate a dispute they want him to speak to Michael on their behalf. If he made it difficult for them to find him, if he was gone from his usual haunts, surely they would have to work together to find him. They would have to remember that they were a family who need each other. 

A sketch of a plan in mind, Gabriel sneaks down to earth, using his status as the Herald to slip uncontested through the thickened barrier. He feels a bit lost without a clear mission or orders to rely on and he decides not to manifest or look for a vessel, afterall he won't be on earth long. 

Aimlessly he drifts across the globe not trying to hide himself from his brothers in the least and only paying scant attention to humanity. He's not interested in them after the untold heartache they've caused his family, he instead spends his time examining all the wonders of creation.

He witnesses the dusk painted purple mountain peaks and the blue-black depths of the ocean and marvels at the life that thrives in either extreme. The miracle of sunrise lighting up the underside of thunderheads on the wide open stretches of the Asian steppes is proof of Gods love. Sunset painting stripes through silent stands of straight trunked pines brings an ache to his being and even the tiniest daisy hidden in the grass has a beauty that is beyond measure.

He meanders from one corner of the earth to another for nearly a month caught up in the beauty of the planet. When he realizes how much time has passed, he's shocked. He knows how time flows differently in heaven than on earth and he's been gone from his brothers for a very long time indeed. The devastation he feels in the moment he realizes his brothers are not looking for him rivals the initial loss of Sammael.

Absolutely heartbroken, he sneaks back into heaven only to find it's not the same place he left, let alone the same place he lived and loved before his brother fell. Michael, it seems, has become harsh and overbearing in his leadership of the host. The innate joy of heaven is diminished, lacking even a hint of his Father's presence. Deeply concerned, Gabriel searches out his friends in hopes of discovering what has happened in his absence.

What he finds breaks his heart even further. Joshua has retreated to his garden, no longer venturing outside it's borders and Metatron has joined Sealtiel in his endless gaze upon the cosmos as the voice of God became ever fainter. Gabriel can see how his and Sealtiel's graces have twined so tightly they will soon stop being two beings and become one. Uneasy at what he finds he slips undetected into the nursery only to find all the fledges engaged in martial training. All the youth and joy in them crushed under the weight of Michael's decree that every angel be a warrior.

Michael himself is wrapped tight in the righteous anger of those who feel they've been betrayed and with Sammael banished to a cage in the bottom of the pit and no sign of his Father anywhere in heaven Gabriel feels more abandoned then ever. 

When he finds that Sammael's name has been struck from the rolls of angels in the archive, it's the last straw. Father either doesn't care what his children do, or he has no idea what is occurring in his absence, but heaven is no longer a place Gabriel wants to be. 

The majority of his brethern had stopped seeing him as anything more than his role as the Herald or the being to mediate their endless disputes before he'd left and they didn't seem to have missed him in his absence. Castiel, Marmoniel and Jehudiel, are slowly becoming something other than the joyful apprentices he wants to remember them as and Joshua, Sealtiel and Metatron have withdrawn from the daily life of heaven. 

There is nothing left of the home he holds in his memories.

A maelstrom of emotions swirl through his grace; anger and sadness, defiance and grief. Defiance wins out and he decides he will return to earth and this time he will make sure that his brothers will never be able to find him. He doesn't tell Sealtiel, Metatron or Joshua he's leaving, fearing that Joshua at least would try to convince him to stay and take up his duties again. He does, however, take a brief moment to visit Castiel, Marmoniel and Jehudiel unseen. They have always been his favorite of the fledges and apprentices and he knows he will miss them and their unwavering faith.

It's with deep regret that he slips through the boundaries of the realms once again. He will not miss what heaven has become, but he surely misses what it was. Using all the skills at his disposal he ensures that any of his brethern who care to look for him will have no starting place from which to track him. Finally reaching earth he slowly and painstakingly constructs wards that will hide him from detection by any of his brothers, fallen and not.

This time as he wanders he watches humanity. He needs to understand these creatures that have torn apart his family. Almost against his will he finds the humans fascinating. He watches them do all manner of things; from the most horrible atrocities that make him think Sammael was right to not venerate these 'mud monkeys', to acts of selflessness that take his breath away. But even the diversity of human interaction cannot long distract him from the grief that eats away at his grace.

As watching humans loses its allure, he finds himself floating listlessly across the planet with no purpose or direction. He's drifted without thought to the far north of the European continent, the chill and desolation calling out to him somehow. Slowly, without fanfare, in the frozen depths of winter, he comes to realize he's dying. 

There have been little signs that he's ignored, feeling fatigue, molting, lacking the energy to instantly transport himself where ever he wants. His grace has diminished from lack of care, hiding himself away from his Father and brothers has cut him off from the grace restoring properties of heaven.

With quiet resignation he realizes he doesn't care if he ceases to exist. His brothers are lost to him and his Father is indifferent, what is there to exist for? With no purpose, why continue? He wraps his essence tight around himself, making himself as small as possible, he reaches down into his being to gather all of the diminished bits of his grace into a tight ball. Pushing it into a tighter and tighter ball until it can't be contained any longer he lets it explode out of him, erasing his existence in a final ball of fire.

As awareness returns, regret, anger and sadness crash through his being leaving nothing in their wake. Feeling hollowed and empty Gabriel can do nothing but curl in on himself in sorrow and snow. The air holds a hush, the snow on the ground and layering the branches of the pines around him providing a muffled sort of silence. He can feel the hand of his Father in the silence and peace and it's a balm after the desperation he'd been feeling, the sanctity of this place a welcome restorative to his battered self.

Love and peace infuse him as he's curled in the snow and he begins to cry like he's seen human children do. Tears run down his face as he cries for his Father, for forgiveness, for his brothers and his home. Slowly he becomes aware of sensation, the tightness of drying tear tracks on his cheeks, the snuffling stuffiness of his nose, the cold damp soaking his knees where he kneels in the snow, the chill on his fingers and the sun warming the crown of his head.

He opens eyes he didn't know he had, let alone knew were closed, looking down at himself in wonder. He has hands he marvels. He's never taken a vessel, he's only ever appeared as a fiery pillar or a voice on the wind. He knows others have taken vessels while on missions from Father, but he never has, making every sensation new and strange.

He can feel everything; the sun on his skin, a breeze blowing through his hair disordering it. He feels a heartbeat in his chest and the blood swooshing through his veins as his lungs inflate and deflate to the rhythm of a breath he hardly knows he needs. The unadulterated marvel that is a human body knocks the melancholy from his being.

'Father' he breathes out reverently.

There is no response but he doesn't expect one. Filled with gratitude and wonder he opens his mouth to sing hallelujah and laughs with joy to hear his true voice come from the lips of this human body.

He knows he's been given a gift of immeasurable value; however a small, mean part of him thinks it is only fair and fitting to be given something so wonderful since he's lost his home and family. It may be an amazing gift but it doesn't make up for losing Michael and Sammael.

He quashes the ungrateful thought as soon as it crosses his mind knowing it isn't fair to place blame for his own actions. No one forced him to leave heaven and his family there. 

He does wonder what he's supposed to do in this body. Neither God nor any of his brothers have appeared to him nor are there any visible signs from his Father; there's no summons back to heaven, no directions for what he should be doing, but also no indication that what he has been doing is against his Father's wishes.

Never having used a vessel he doesn't know what he can do in this form so he stretches out his senses. Immediately he can feel his grace has been restored. There is only one way that could have happened and that is through his Father's will. It's proof of his Fathers love he knows, this body that was made for him. It humbles him anew and he's awash in gratitude that erases any doubts he's had in his Father.

What can an angel hiding out from his brothers given the gift of a body do? He wobbles to his feet, it's difficult to get used to the limitations the flesh puts on his movements. He's seen the most graceful and elegant humans dance or fight and he wants that kind of movement.

Stumbling at first he leans the limits of his new body; laughing and dancing he revels in the gift, every new discovery of what the body is capable of filling him with joy. Faith in his Father restored it's easier to let go the lingering anger at losing his triad. He still misses Michael and Sammael fiercely but he's able to put it into perspective. This gift from his Father isn't a replacement or apology for losing them. He knows his Father knows it's a poor substitute, a toy to take his mind off the sadness, but he's grateful for the distraction.

He tries to emulate the dances he's seen the women do in the heat of the Middle East, all sinuous curves and delicate movements. He laughs with joy when all he does is trip over his own feet and drop to the snow covered ground. He twists and turns to see if he can bend like the fakers in the market places with their legs twined together in serene contemplation. It's with wonder at humanities adaptability that he finds how painful it is to contort a body into those shapes.

Exhausting the physical capabilities of his new body he thinks to reach for his grace and again laughs in delight when he discovers this human body contains his essence with no difficulties. It seems as though his Father thought of everything. With the addition of his grace he's able to dance and tumble and twist to his hearts delight. 

Everything he could do as a being of celestial intent is possible in this new body from his Father. With great delight he finds he can actually manifest wings and he's able to flit and fly to his hearts content. He can turn invisible with a thought and back again with another. He's able to grow taller than the trees surrounding him and smaller than the barest snowflake. 

The one thing he does not do is to look at himself. He doesn't actually care what he may look like. God his Father gave him this body and his Father decided on its looks. It's another gift, one he'll gladly take, that when people look at him even though they won't know it they'll be looking at the hand of God.

Exhausting his exploration of the limits of his new body he stretches his senses to take in his surroundings. It's beautiful here, still so peaceful even with his noise disturbing the quiet. He takes a moment to absorb the feel of his Father's hand on the creation of this place feeling humbled anew at the gift he has received.

Feeling refreshed and as though he could take on the world he sets himself to remembering every detail of the clearing so he will always be able to find it, knowing it, just like this body, was made for him by his Father; that should he need it, he'll always be able to feel the hand of his Father in this place. 

Reaching out with his grace he finds the nearest population center and with a thought he moves his new body to it. As the glow of sunset fades from the clearing leaving only the sound of delighted laughter behind Gabriel sets out to see where his Father left him.

===

He's in Scandinavia. It's peaceful and quiet and the people are spread so very far apart it's just what he needs. He can easily wander from village to forest, enjoying humanity or avoiding them as the mood takes him while he works through the grief of losing his home. The gift of this vessel from his Father goes a long way to ease that grief however, knowing he is not alone, that his Father is looking over him, is of great solace.

He does not know what he will do with his new life though, but as he wanders it's not with the aimless desolation of before. He pays attention to the humans he encounters as well as the sights of creation, taking an interest in the day to day lives of those he watches.

Justice is integral to his being and he can't help but react to events he witnesses. He stays out of the business of the adults, they will be held accountable for their actions he knows and he has no desire to draw the attention of the family he just left. The children though, the children fascinate him. Fledges are nothing like human children since they are created already knowing everything and only need to be reminded of it. Human children need so much more from their parents than fledges ever need and the care and love they are given is beautiful to him. 

Some things remain the same regardless of species though; human children get up to as much mischief as the boldest fledges. He lends a bit of help here and there, rescues a favorite doll from being left behind, a nudge away from thin ice, a little comeuppance mischief where needed taking down a bully or knocking down a know-it-all a peg or two. The children notice his interference, bright things that they are, and start calling him Loptr; the air. 'Watch out or Loptr will get you! Loptr sees everything you do!' 

He likes it, likes being known and named. It warms him and he feels as protective of the human children as he ever did of Castiel, Marmoniel or Jehudiel. They even start to leave little offerings to him, sweets and childish trinkets. He finds it adorable and humbling, this outpouring of affection. He stashes the trinkets in the grove he woke in and gives the sweets a try. He may inhabit a human shaped body, but he's had no desire to eat. The sweet flavor thrills him, making him eager for further offerings.

Eventually he begins to hear the prayers of the children to Loptr. They ask for his help finding a lost favorite toy or for a bully to get what's coming to him and it's with a start he realizes he's becoming a pagan God. It makes him laugh and laugh with a joy he hasn't felt in a very long time. It also makes him wonder all over again how the other pagan Gods came to be. Then panic sets in and he retreats to his sacred grove calling out to his Father.

'Father! Am I doing the right thing? Father! I need you!' He gets no answer, but then he didn't really expect one. If his Father had given him no instructions when he'd been given the body, he shouldn't expect them now.

He thinks about Sammael, now Lucifer, and how Father punished him for his transgression against humanity by putting him in the cage, in the process punishing Gabriel and Michael as well, whether on purpose or by accident. He is not his brother and he has no plans to be at all like Lucifer. Giving it great thought he comes to the decision that Father put him here, gave him this body, restored his grace, Father must have a reason for it. Since Father hasn't appeared to him or recalled him to heaven what he's doing must be in line with His plan.

There's a hint of rebellion in his thoughts as well, he wants the free will that humanity was gifted with, he wants something for himself that is far removed from the life he had with his family in heaven and becoming a pagan God gives that to him. Serenity restored, he continues on his road to pagan Godhood, he helps those that need it, metes out punishment to those that deserve it and revels in being Loptr.

Where the pagan Gods came from has always been a mystery to him and now he has even more questions. Did God create them as he'd created Gabriel and his brothers? Were they other angels who'd left heaven long ago and created a new life on earth? Or were they the same sort of being as his Father? Even with his evolving status he recieves no answers but he continues to tread carefully when he does cross paths with one of the other pagans.

Not long after he starts to be a more widely regarded God Gabriel hears the idle prayers of a builder looking for work. Gabriel knows from overheard conversations that the Norse Gods are looking for some mortal or divine type to build a hall for them in Midgard. Using his burgeoning reputation as Loptr to gain an audience with Odin he tells the elder God about the builder who does have a stellar reputation. Much to his pleasure, Odin and his family hire the man.

Out of curiosity and the desire to ingratiate himself into their pantheon Gabriel hangs around to watch the building take shape. He doesn't want a new family, he had that in heaven and the loss still stings. He has no desire to replace any of his brothers, but he is lonely. He also knows the benefits of friends in high places, he is a God without a pantheon, and he's not above mercenary tactics to keep himself safe.

When it looks like the builder is going to meet the deadline - 'See, I told you he was good,' Gabriel says smugly - the Gods get angry and blame Gabriel. It irritates him, it's not his fault they agreed to pay a ridiculous price. He doesn't know what would happen to him if they were to kill or seriously injure him though. He doesn't know the limits of this body gifted him by his Father in that regard. He scrambles to come up with some scheme to stay in good with them so he doesn't have to find out.

All he can think to do is distract Svadilfari. The horse is nearly as smart as his master and does the lion share of the heavy work. Gabriel figures if he can lure Svadilfari away from the job sight there is a good chance they will fall behind and the Norse Gods won't have to pay. 

Spur of the moment plans desrve outragous excecution he believes and on a whim he decides to try shape-shifting - not something he's tried yet. When he's able to change his shape at a thought he breathes a sigh of relief and shifts to a mare in heat as the best way to distract a stallion with a work ethic.

Svadilfari turns out to be far smarter than Gabriel anticipated and he has a terrible job of staying out of the stallions reach; it's tiring keeping one step ahead of the other horse. Fatigued at holding the unusual shape for so long and tired of running in circles through the forest, Gabriel decides to give up and get caught. He's witnessed sex between all manner of beings now and figures it can't be all that bad. 

Sex turns out to be as big a revelation as candy.

Gabriel keeps Svadilfari away the remainder of the night and the horse is distracted all the following day. Telling himself it's just to make sure the builder doens't make the deadline, Gabriel does it again the next night being sure to get 'caught' much sooner. He carries on the affair until after the deadline is passed. The builder protests of course, but there is no recourse with Gods. Gabriel does feel slightly guilty when Thor ends up killing the man but the builder had had no backup plan for working with beings as mercurial as Gods and that cost him.

Free from his master, Svadilfari leaves after one final romp with the horse shaped Gabriel. Now used to holding a different form Gabriel remains in horse form for several more days, enjoying the novel shape and the difference in perspective it provides. As he stretches his power to revert back to his usual shape however he feels the beginning of a new life within him and it gives him pause.

It honestly takes him a moment to even understand what has happened to him and he is supremely baffled. How could he end up pregnant? He's an angel! All things must be in his Fathers plan he knows, making it easy to carry through with the pregnancy. Life is a sacred gift after all, besides it was fun and he really liked Svadilfari, it would be nice to have a token, as it were, of their affair. He's astounded by the depth of his love for Sleipnir when the eight-legged horse is born. 

The whole ordeal cements his relationship with the Norse pantheon. He's welcomed into their domain with lots of back-slapping and 'look at you, taking one for the team' laughter. They even rename him Loki in honor of his new status within their pantheon. Buoyed by the new-found love he has in his child, Gabriel is touched to become a part of a family again, though he still holds himself as an outsider out of loyalty to his first family. 

In his position as an outsider, he gets into all kinds of scrapes butting up against long established relationships and etiquette. He doesn't pick fights on purpose, but he doesn't let an opportunity to hand out comeuppance pass, telling it like he sees it without pulling punches, watching from the edges of the infighting that is common among Gods and adding his two cents to egg them along or pointing out ridiculous offenses from times past. He was the instrument of his Father's justice after all and that is something that is built into his being and not going away anytime soon.

As he slides more into the persona of Loki within the Norse pantheon he finds himself becoming more and more pagan, craving the human activities they seem to revel in, food and sleep among them. He's come to thoroughly enjoy a well prepared meal, reveling in all the flavors and textures. Sweets however, remain his first favorite food. He even takes to sleeping, relishing the hedonistic pleasure to be found in a warm pile of blankets and bodies. This leads to the discovery of his second favorite activity - sex - the experience with Svadilfari giving him the impetus to try sex in his human shaped body.

With the discovery of how fun sex is he has a wild fling with the jotunn Angrboda. It lasts for some time and together they have three children, Hel, the wolf Fenrir and the world serpent Jormungandr. Since Angrboda is a demigod in her own right and neither of them have any intentions to ever harm humanity, he has no worries the children will be anything like the Nephilim. The children, whom he loves as much as his still missed brothers, further cement his place in the ranks of the Norse Gods.

The first time he meets Sigyn he's instantly fascinated by her because she ignores him. He's a new face and he's become used to being the center of attention whenever he's introduced to new beings. His curiosity demands he discover why she doesn't like him and he attempts to woo her. She rebuffs his every overture only making him try harder. He's used to being liked and views Sigyn's disregard as a challenge. He chases her until he realizes she's caught him.

Sigyn, it turns out, is a very clever and cunning being. She wants children and she wants them with the being she knows as Loki. His outsider status, wildness, and the extra power she can sense around him make Gabriel her preferred choice to be the father of her children. Gabriel, no longer worried children of an angel may turn out like the Nephilim, bows to her wishes, amused to have let himself be lead a merry chase and captured by such a beguiling being. He does extend a tendril of his grace however to ensure their children are more like her than the other three are anything like either of their parents.

He's not sure but it could be his angelic heritage that forms the unique aspects of his children. Hel, who is a guardian of the under-world, and most like the part of him that is Sammael, questions and is never satisfied with the simple answers; Jormungandr, so much like Michael in his responsibility and dedication to duty; Fenrir, his favorite, although he knows a parent shouldn't have favorites, who's unfettered joy and savagery in life is what he feels closest too. It is only right his first child, Sleipnir - who in a roundabout way is the reason any of the others exist - and Fenrir are fast friends. Then there are the twins Nari and Narfi that he gave to his wife Sigyn - he wanted them to be what she wanted so badly that they are her in all her glory.

Out of all the beings in the Norse pantheon it's Thor he considers his closest friend. It's like having a combination of older and younger brother all at once. They have adventure after adventure together getting into and out of trouble with regularity. He thinks it could have been like this with Michael and Sammael if they'd never fought, if Sammael had never fallen, if they'd come to earth to explore humanity together. It brings an ache to his grace that he pushes down and away under the still bitter hurt of being abandoned.

He throws himself into pagan Godhood and hedonistic pleasure to drown out the echoing ache that never fades, though it gets easier to bear. When the rounds of drama within his new life become overwhelming or the longing he feels for his first family becomes too great, he snaps himself away to his clearing in the far north woods where he received his corporeal body. There he cries and rages at his Father and brothers, then, when he's exhausted himself, he calms his whirling grace to a deep meditative state, reaching out to the threads within that connect him to his brothers.

Those threads can never be severed. He, Michael and Sammael are three parts of the same whole no matter where they may all reside. Knowing that is a balm for the loneliness and longing that their absence has left in his core. Even feeling only their unhappiness and rage through their link is better than nothing. He wonders if Michael or Sammael ever stop being angry long enough to reach within themselves to feel the threads of connection like he does.

===

He and Thor are out carousing with a couple of mortals they picked up one evening in the fall, traveling from tavern to tavern drinking more than their share. As night falls so does the temperature, while he and Thor aren't greatly affected, it's not much fun traveling in the dark and cold. Fortunately the lights of a lodge appear on the horizon.

The caretaker of the lodge, Utgarda-Loki, tells them they can perform feats to entertain in payment for their stay. Gabriel, being hungry and tired, pipes up that he can eat faster than anyone. Utgarda-Loki laughingly replies that this would be a feat indeed and calls for a being by the name of Logi. An enormous trencher is fetched, placed on the floor of the hall and filled with meat and gravy. Gabriel's mouth waters at the sight and he's sure he'll be able to eat faster than this Logi, flame be his name or not. 

Settling in at opposite ends of the trencher, the two eat as quickly as they can meeting at the midpoint of the hall. Gabriel feels victorious, and a bit overfull and queasy, until he sees Logi ate not only the meat from the bone but the bones and trencher as well! He protests that he obviously ate faster since he took the time to get the meat off the bone and still met Logi in the middle. There is laughter all round at Gabriel's sputtering protests and Utgarda-Loki calls for another feat to prove their worth.

One of their mortal drinking buddies, Thialfi, boasts that he can run fast as the wind and Utgarda-Loki calls for Hugi and bids them to race round the lodge three times. Thialfi loses amongst laughter and cat-calls, but he loses with grace, commenting that Hugi runs fast as his name-sake, thought.

Gabriel is beginning to become a bit suspicious about what exactly is going on. Twice they've been beaten by beings with the properties of their names and it has his thoughts whirling through lists of those who would see he or Thor served with his own brand of justice. His musing is interrupted by Thor himself calling out a demand that he be next to demonstrate his prowess since as the son of Odin he can do anything. 

With hoots and calls he's given a large drinking horn and challenged to drain it dry. With a smirk and a toast to Odin he raises it to his lips but even after three immense gulps fails to drain the horn. Gabriel sees a shimmer around the horn as Thor drinks and is sure all is not as it appears. Grumbling on the fairness of the tasks Thor demands a new feat claiming his family's honor is now at stake.

With a smile in his voice Utgarda-Loki says 'I'll take it easy on you, if you can lift the old gray cat by the fireplace that would be a feat worth a thousand nights in my lodge.'

Gabriel again sees that shimmer, this time round the gray cat. As Thor strugglesto lift the seemingly unrealistically heavy cat Gabriel would swear he catches a glimpse of his son, Jormungandr, in it's shadow and it puts him on his guard. He does not know who this Utgarda-Loki is, but him besting their strengths with such ease can't bode well for them.

Thoughts of how to warn Thor they may be in danger without arousing suspicion are derailed as Thor drops the cat back to the hearth with hearty laughter at the prank, claiming Utgarda-Loki has the heaviest hearth cat he has ever had the misfortune of trying to move. There is laughter and toasts all round and Gabriel feels his suspicions drifting to nothing in the lighthearted atmosphere.

Utgarda-Loki declares their attempts at entertaining feats are at the least worth a night under his roof. He bids them to sit and eat, to drink and make merry, and to take the warm spot in front of the fire for the night. The rest of the evening passes in spirited camaraderie with nary a hint of anything out of the ordinary.

Late in the silence of the night Gabriel slowly wakes to the sensation of being watched and carefully scanning the dark beyond the soft glow of the hearth he spies Utgarda-Loki watching over them from the shadows.

'I know you're up to something old man, who or what are you?' Gabriel demands, curiosity a thin cover over the concern Gabriel feels regarding a being who was able to trick he and Thor so easily.

'I'm no one special,' the old man smiles gently. 'You two on the other hand,' he gestures to Gabriel and where Thor is stretched out, snoring, 'are very special. Do you know what you've done tonight?'

Gabriel remains silent, his slowly waking mind trying to figure out who in the realms this man is. But even reaching out carefully with a sliver of his grace gets him nothing, it's as though there is no one where Utgarda-Loki is sitting.

Utgarda-Loki takes no visible offense at Gabriel's silence, continuing in a soft raspy voice. 'The two of you performed astounding feats this night. It takes the sons of Gods to met fire head on and drink the tides into the ocean. And I'm sure you saw the shadow of your own Jormungandr in my sweet kitty.'

Latching onto the one mystery he has personal stake in he diffidently asks, 'And how is it that Jormungandr has come to rest at your hearth?'

'Ah child,' Gabriel bristles at the soft familiarity of the word, 'I do enjoy spending time with the children's children.' A happy smile creases Utgarda-Loki's face as he continues. 'You should rest, morning comes soon and you've miles left on your journey.'

Heavy fatigue settles over Gabriel at Utgarda-Loki's words and he settles back to sleep with no protest. In the morning he has no recollection of speaking with their host in the night. All he recalls of the night are fragments of a strange, vague dream in which his Father thanked him for the blessing of grandchildren.

===

As tales of Loki's exploits with Thor become more widely known his reputation as a trickster - handing out just desserts in creative ways - grows as well. More and more he hears the prayers of those looking for justice or a balancing of the scales asking him for help. There come to be so many he becomes fickle about what and how he answers yet still he gains more worshipers and as the Vikings spread so does Loki's reach.

He can feel his pagan gained powers increase against the measure of his angelic power until it feels they are nearly equal. As he relies less on any heaven born abilities he worries less that his brothers will be able to find traces of his presence should they care to look. He still has no desire to be pulled back into the depressing mess that his first home and family have become.

The connection between number of worshipers and power levels in the pagan community is a fact of existence. However, Gabriel didn't know the correlation held true for his angelic aspect as well. 

The name of the Archangel Gabriel is spread far and wide as Christianity gains more converts. Justice and communication are cornerstones of the growing human population and having them in his purview brings Gabriel the prayers and pleas of people across the globe. He's circumspect in answering prayers addressed to Gabriel in order to avoid detection by his brothers, but answer them he does; with as much fickle mischief as prayers addressed to Loki receive.

With the rise of the Christian mythos he does give brief thought to how or if Sammael's powers are affected, if they've grown in response to the growing numbers of humans that now know and fear his name, even if it isn't his true name.

The thought that Sammael could become powerful enough to escape Father's punishment gives him pause and he's torn. On the one hand it's his brother and Gabriel will always miss him. On the other, the hate Sammael had for humanity by the end scared him. His time as Loki has brought him a better understanding of humans and he can't imagine not loving them as God had decreed. He knows too if Sammael became powerful enough to escape the cage the animosity Gabriel could still feel through their bond would consume Sammael and Michael once more and he has no desire to again witness his brothers fighting.

===

With worshipers of both the Trickster Loki and the Archangel Gabriel spread to all corners of the world Gabriel himself is right there with them, dispensing his unique brand of justice to all who deserve it. The changes he witnesses the world undergo at the hands of humanity is astounding. The capacity of the human mind to both create and destroy is endlessly fascinating to a being to whom a lack of change has been the constant for millennium.

Playing on his reputation as a trickster God gains him an invitation into the halls of most of the pantheons he comes across in his wandering. It's an education, seeing all the pantheons from the inside. The pagan Gods are far more human in their foibles then he'd expected. It causes him to think about all the ways heaven differed from earth and angels differed from humans.

When he came right down to it, angels were far more like humans then some would ever admit. Angels had come to have the same motivations in love and jealousy as humans by the time he'd left heaven. The biggest difference that he could see was humanity was gifted with free will from the beginning. The clarity of hindsight showed him the changes amongst his brethern after Sammael's fall was actually free will developing in the host.

The internal politics of every pantheon are woefully complex and nearly incomprehensible to an outsider. Gabriel has no intentions of getting caught up in anyone else's drama and develops a reputation as irreverent. He's powerful enough to back up his mouth though, not only his power of sly justice, but the sheer power he can call upon as an archangel can be felt by any who attempt retribution for his remarks or pranks. 

He is thankful he's never had cause to call upon that power. He tells himself it's because he has no desire to accidentally call attention to himself from any of his former family but in reality it's so there are no questions from the other pagans. He has no desire to come out as an angel of Christianity; he's embraced his new life as a pagan and doesn't want to be reminded of what he left behind - it's not who he is any longer.

Despite, or maybe because of, his reputation as an exasperating truth teller, he does make friends amongst the pantheons as he moves across the world. Some Gods look favorably on him when he leaves, some he pretty much runs from, and one or two are so bizarre he leaves them shaking his head in bewilderment.

The Father figures of the different religions especially draw his attention. God his Father loved and was fascinated by humans and many of the other Father Gods meddle heavily in human affairs. Gabriel could easily believe his Father would taken on such a mantle in order to be closer to humans. He doesn't look however, if his Father wants Gabriel to find Him, He'll appear to him.

Along with the reputation for irreverence, Gabriel develops the reputation of a God looking for a good time and he manages to party with most of the pantheons of the world; sex and mind altering experiences marking how he knows who across the planet.

To his surprise it's the male fertility Gods who are the most fun. They're all about having a good time, getting off and who has the bigger dick. There's no fretting about responsibility and children like their female counterparts and no worries about romantic love and certainly no concerns about the politics that could be attached to the act.

The Greek and Roman Gods are the epitome of politics and hang-ups he finds. The pantheons are so close as to be almost like twins and a prayer to Demeter is as likely to be answered by Ceres and vice-versa. They're also the only pantheons where he actually finds the deities of love and lust a bit of a bore, they're so specialized.

Traveling the world answering his worshipers and looking for fun gives him ample opportunity to hone his talent for shape-shifting and it gets him into trouble as often as it nets him a good time. He especially gets into trouble in Egypt. The juvenile sense of humor he developed with Thor can't resist the temptation of poking fun at all the animal headed Gods of that pantheon and he has to make a hasty escape across the Mediterranean when a joke on Bastet goes a little too far.

He flees through India and is dazzled by the wildness and destruction of the Hindu Gods. He'd thought the Norse were bloodthirsty, but they have nothing on Kali. His first meeting with the Goddess echoes his first meeting with Sigyn; she completely ignores him and he's immediately caught by her indifference.

Having learned from his experience with Sigyn he perseveres in his attempts to woo the standoffish Goddess. Unfortunately, Kali is only annoyed by his constant attentions and declares him childish and a waste of her time. Gabriel is undeterred however, repeatedly changing tactics, sure he can wear her down. He spends weeks trying and failing to bend the Goddess to his charm and as he spends more and more time with Kali, his desire changes from wanting to add her to his list of conquests to wanting to know the Goddess for her own sake.

With that change of heart he gives up on wooing Kali and enjoys the friendship they develop. He's not been this close to another being except Thor since he ran away to earth and he finds he likes it far better than a simple bout of sex, no matter how fantastic he knows it could be. As a result he spends far longer than he thought he would in India and it's with a small amount of regret he takes his leave of Kali and her brethern.

He's taken by surprise when as he says good-bye to Kali, she grabs onto his being, pulls him into some little pocket in the cosmos, and proceeds to blow his mind. She's crazy and irreverent and wonderful and they do everything two Gods can do with or to each other. An indeterminate time later she sets him back in the earthly realm with a sweet kiss to his cheek and the demand he come back soon. Gabriel is left bemused at how he's continually blindsided by females. He'll be back, she may be a bit blood thirsty for his tastes, but what the hell, you only go around once right? 

Well not really as it turns out. He gets a crash course in reincarnation when he visits Tibet. The sedate and calm of Buddhism is intensely restful after the whirlwind that was keeping up with Kali. He's left in awe by the Gods that continually return to a human form, forsaking all power to teach those striving for enlightenment; it makes him feel humble and a little guilty. 

His irreverent nature can't be contained for long however, Ragaraja's mere existence requires teasing. He's the only God of lust Gabriel has ever met that actually suppresses his appetites. The angel come pagan takes great delight in trying to crack the composure of the red-skinned God. To sooth his hurt pride at failing to elicit more than disdain from the stubborn God of Lust he finds a beautiful Bodhisattva to share time with. He comes away from the encounter feeling the same kind of peace and fulfillment he'd previously only felt in his first home.

Leaving the Asian continent feeling peaceful and content, he circumvents Egypt and continues his interrupted travel of Africa. The Gods of the continent are more fierce and primitive with a darker aura than any he's met yet. He comes across Bia in the dark of the night and the other God scares him spit less. He's seen violence before, heck, he's seen his brothers die, but Bia as the very personification of violence is dark and chaotic. The potential for something truly appalling lingers in his wake and it's with relief that he moves on from the encounter unharmed.

While in Africa he meets Anasi and feels an instant connection to the other trickster, as though they've known each other throughout existence. The feeling of instant connection makes him suspicious of the other God; he's never met another being besides his brothers who has affected him in such a manner. A covert stretch of his senses and he can feel a deep power in the trickster that is similar to his own buried angelic powers. 

Startled, Gabriel's touch slips and he's sure Anasi has felt the intrusion. Bracing himself for a confrontation he's surprised when all the other God does is shoot him a sly grin and continue on as if nothing has happened. Shaking off the strangeness in favor of his curiosity Gabriel gets to know the African trickster. They easily become as close as Gabriel has been with any being since his brothers and at times Gabriel is even tempted to reveal his angelic heritage because he thinks they might share that.

Through Anasi he meets Eshu, Coyote and Raven, he feels the same sense brotherhood with the other tricksters as well. The five of them end up fast friends and spend a great deal of time together in the pockets out of time, playing cards or stones. They make trips to every eatery any of them can think of to sample every food under the sun, leaving a trail of confusion and justice behind them.

With a sense of great pleasure and contentment he realizes he's made yet another family around himself. First it was the Gods of the Norse who took him in and made him welcome, unknowingly helping him to find his way in his new life. Now he has the tricksters of the world, providing the brotherhood and kinship he'd thought he'd lost forever with his first family. 

When he left heaven he thought he'd be bereft of family forever, and while he still feels the ache of his shattered triad in his core, the surface aches have been assuaged by the formation of new ties of family. Every new bit of family fills the void a little more, causing the deep sadness to recede. It never goes away completely and he knows deep down where he ignores it that he never wants to stop missing his brothers.

===

He's on the European continent enjoying the changes wrought by the Renaissance - good food is right there next to cleanliness on the scale of the divine as far as Gabriel is concerned - the first time it happens. He's minding his own business, plotting the downfall of a rather egocentric baker, when he's hit with what feels like Thor's hammer.

He has a moment of vertigo, his powers increase and the awareness of new worshipers washes over him. Shaken, it takes a moment before he's able to rationally analyze what happened. Reaching out a tendril of power through the collective unconscious of the new worshipers he's stunned to discover they belong to a different trickster God and he can't fathom why he should suddenly have awareness of them.

There is only one reason he can think of to acquire another God's worshipers and that is if that other God no longer exists. He's baffled, confused and scared, retreating to his sacred grove out of self-defense. For a split second he wonders if this is what happened to his Father, if his Father has died and that's why none of the angelic host had been able to find him. The thought freezes him in absolute terror. But no, he shakes the terror off, he'd felt the hand of his Father on his resurrection and the continued spread of Christianity spoke of his Father's influence.

Lying to himself about his reasons for going to Africa - he doesn't want to admit he's going to Anasi for advice, he is a millennium old being after all - he looks up Anasi, telling himself it's only to catch up and discuss the latest gossip. To his dismay the African trickster sees right through his bluster to the heart of his fear.

'Gods die Loki,' the other trickster is sympathetic yet firm, 'it's a fact of nature and nothing can stop it. Even ones as you and I will die one day. The trick is not to let anyone know.' Anasi grins his sly grin at that.

Gabriel scoffs at him. 'If the death of a little God is felt by those who share his realm, then our deaths will be felt by all the realms.'

'Maybe so,' Anasi nods placidly in agreement, 'but we'll never know will we? I've seen it before and I know I'll see it many times more. Gods die. You and I, being among the most powerful in our realms if I do say so myself, are going to be the ones who feel it the most.'

'I really don't want to,' Gabriel shudders. 'It's bad enough to feel a little God give up, either from lack of worshipers or lack of will, I don't want the responsibility they leave behind.'

'More tricks for me then.' Anasi is indifferent in the face of Gabriel's disdain. 'Now then, what have you been up to, or should I say who?'

As the years pass Gabriel stops being disturbed by the deaths of little Gods and is instead saddened. With the conversion of so much of the world to the Judeo-Christian belief system there are fewer and fewer powerful pagan Gods left. It leaves the world a poorer place he thinks and he gives no thought to his hypocrisy.

===

Having finally accepted the ages old invite from Coyote and Raven, Gabriel is kicking round the North American continent. The pioneer spirit is just as invigorating and the opportunity for new and inventive tricks just as endless as they'd promised. His enjoyment of the holiday is marred however by little things he can't ignore. He doesn't want to believe what he's seeing, but the little signs appear to be the first stirrings of an apocalypse.

There are no overt signs that anyone but a member of the Christian angelic host would understand, but deep down he is still an archangel and the ability to see the hand of the host on the world is hardwired into him. He can't believe it's his Father gearing up for an apocalypse however the signs read. If Sodom and Gomorrah hadn't pushed Him that far, this age certainly wouldn't. Gabriel could be wrong on that count but he doesn't think so.

He hasn't any contacts of his own on the continent yet, so in order to get the scuttlebutt he approaches Eshu. They've been friends a long time and traded favors back and forth for hundreds of years. As the guardian of the crossroads and a messenger between the divine and mortal Eshu always has all the best gossip. The other trickster came to North America with the first European ships to see her shores and set up shop on the southern coast of the continent. Gabriel is sure the other God has an extensive network in place and he hopes there is rumor at least of what his first family may be up too.

They meet at a rundown bar deep in the heat and humidity of the bayou that's little more than a rickety shack situated on a crossroads. Eshu is holding court at the best table with a deck of cards in front of him, idly shuffling and dealing out solitaire. The only other souls in the bar are the mortal bartender and a squirrelly little man shape reeking of sulfur and nursing a beer in the corner.

'Loki! It's been far too long!' Eshu greets him warmly with a back-slapping hug. 'You are still going by that aren't you?' he motions to the bartender who brings a dusty bottle and a couple of glasses to the table as Gabriel sits.

'Why fix what ain't broke?' Gabriel shrugs with a smirk, seating himself and pouring out drinks for the both of them. 'How have you been Eshu?'

'I'm going by Papa Legba now,' the crossroads God corrects him. 'New country, new name.'

'To new names,' Gabriel toasts, knocking back what turns out to be very good scotch.

Knocking back his own drink and pouring out another for them both, Papa Legba gives Gabriel a searching look. 'What have you been up too? Any good tricks lately? Have you found any decent restaurants here yet? How are Raven and Coyote? Have you heard from them?' The other trickster peppers him with questions, barely pausing for breath let alone allowing Gabriel time to answer. Information is the other God's stock and trade after all and he's never been shy about obtaining it.

Smiling in satisfaction that there are some things that never truly change, Gabriel waits till Eshu - Papa Legba now he needs to remember, names have power - winds down. 'I've been around.' he answers with a negligent wave. 'Trade's been good if you know what I mean. The food is hit or miss, not like Europe at all and last I knew Raven was headed north and Coyote south, they'd had some sort of tiff. I'm sure in no time they'll be thick as thieves again.'

Nodding, Papa Legba makes a sad face, 'Ah, I had heard the two were at odds, but not that they'd parted ways. But you are right,' his cheerful demeanor reappears, 'sooner or later they'll be back together making mischief. A toast then, to stubborn fools.'

Gabriel laughs, raising his glass, 'To stubborn fools!' Thumping his glass down he reaches to pour them another, nodding to the man in the corner Gabriel asks, 'Who's that?'

'Some little wannabe up from the pit.' Papa Legba shrugs in return with a sour face. 'Been hanging around for a bit now, says he wants to learn about crossroads and gossip tween the realms.'

'So you went and got yourself an apprentice then?' Gabriel laughs more. With the transplant to America many of the African Gods guarded their purview most jealously and for one of them to willingly share their knowledge was an amusing idea.

'Not hardly,' Papa Legba snorts. 'Wants to go into business for himself he says, very ambitious that one. But you're not here to talk about my new hangers-on. What can I do for you Loki?'

Relaxing back in a loose sprawl, no need to let on how invested he is in the information, Gabriel casually offers, 'I've seen some signs and portents that have got me worried.'

'You mean where it looks like the hand of the divine is taking a bigger interest than usual in the lives of mortals?' Papa Legba's gaze sharpens, he's always been perceptive and Gabriel is sure he's long suspected there is more to 'Loki' than meets the eye.

Gabriel is practiced at nonchalance, but it's hard to trick a trickster and he puts all his skill into making his friend think he's after the information purely out of self preservation and that's not too far from the truth. 'That would be the one. I'm not looking to get involved in any other Gods pissing contest and I want to make sure I stay clear of whatever may be going down.'

Papa Legba nods, seemingly satisfied with Gabriel's reasons, no one wants to get in the middle of another pantheons family business. 'Near as I can tell it's the Christian God and his angels getting some blood lines in order. For what, I couldn't say.'

'Couldn't say or won't say,' Gabriel probes.

'Ah, it pains me to admit it, and I wouldn't to anyone younger than you or I,' Papa Legba shrugs again, looking slightly shamed not to have the whole story, 'but I honestly don't know. You know how much I like the gossip, if I had it I'd share it.'

Trusting that his friend is telling him everything he knows Gabriel lets their conversation turn to who's doing what in the realms; mindless gossip for the most part, but the coin of the realm as it were for Gods. They have always survived on the stories and legends that surround them and what is gossip but stories and legends before they've aged?

Papa Legba's information only confirms the signs he thought he saw are what he thinks they are. The knowledge that other Gods and Goddesses have noticed the signs as well provides him some relief. The odds he'll have to take a stand or reveal himself as an angel of Christianity are low if other pantheons are aware of the situation. He is loath to take action against his family, even if it has been millennium since he last saw them, nor does he want to change his standing amongst the other pagans.

Telling himself he's off to visit his children, he makes a stop at his sacred grove. It's been a very long time since his last visit and it's just as peaceful and God-touched as ever. The sense of his Father's presence still lingers in the air all these centuries later. He lets the form of his mortal body fall away, stretching his being out to its very limits. He does it so very rarely, convinced too long in his true form will attract the attention of his brothers, that it's like shaking out a half asleep limb, pins and needles transforming to the pleasant sensation of unused muscles stretching.

Pulling back from the diffuse stretch to a small ball, wings wrapped tightly around himself, he settles comfortably in the ever present snow and reaches deep within himself to where the threads of Sammael and Michael twine through him. It's been longer than he's taken his true form since he reached for his brothers in this manner. It's come to be far too painful to feel Sammael's continued rage and Michael's never ending indifference. 

He feels relief however that neither brother's emotions have changed since the last time he sought out their connection, sure that if the apocalypse were imminent they would feel differently. Despite the negativity of his brothers emotions he gains a comfort he didn't know he needed from the connection. After a rather long time spent basking in his brothers he does go on to visit with his children.

Even from her position in the realms of the dead Hel has noticed the strange goings on in the upper realms of the human and the divine. She demands all the information he can provide on what is going on when they meet. Of all his children, she's the one who is most his equal in position and he has no qualms in telling her about the possible apocalypse.

He's never shared his origins with any of his children, and doesn't now, even so he's sure that Hel, even as the most visible of his children, is safe from any repercussions a Christian apocalypse may have on those with ties to the Christian pantheon.

Leaving his only daughter to her duties with the dead he travels on to Midgard to visit the rest of his children. Transforming to a giant fish he swims with Jormungandr in the endless warm oceans of his second home. The giant serpent is unconcerned and unaffected by the goings on in the mortal realms, patiently presiding over the oceans of Midgard. The serenity Gabriel feels when he spends time with Jormungandr reminds him of time spent with his own Father and it saddens him to think that Jormungandr and God his Father will never know of their relation.

Saving his favorites for last, he roams the deep pine forests of the far north with Fenrir and Sleipnir. It will never stop amusing him that contrary to all laws of predator and prey the two are such fast friends. He delights in the games the three of them play, testing his ability to shift his shape and renewing his capacity for uncomplicated joy.

He returns to his demigod lifestyle with a lighter heart, the time spent with his children and in his sacred grove providing the perspective and calm he needs to shake off the hurt that still bubbles to the surface whenever thoughts of his first family intrude on the life he has made on earth.

===

The dawn of the modern era and all its attractions captivate him and all thoughts of an apocalypse are pushed out of his mind. Vaudeville, and then TV, especially enthrall him. The comic justice dished out on stage with seltzer water and pie is something he wishes he could take credit for. Television with the multitudes of people all pretending to be someone else with the good guys winning while the bad guys are handed their just deserts is an idea after his own heart. With the advent of live porn he falls in love with humanity all over again.

Soon however, the small signs he'd noticed a century or more before became more pronounced. He doesn't change his mind about getting involved, but after a decade or so his curiosity gets the better of him. The thought of what his brothers could be getting up too starts to prey on his mind. He'd slept with an oracle or two back in the day and was still on speaking terms with them, so it's no feat to look up Delphi and ask her to allow him to gaze in her pool.

'Why do you want to look Loki?' Delphi asks him sadly. 'Knowing the future has never done anyone any good. You know as well as I how those who look fare.'

'I know sweets, but the suspense is killing me.' Gabriel smiles his most charming smile. He'd forgotten how gloomy the pretty little Greek was when it came to her job.

'Very well,' she sighs, 'you know the price. Once you look there is no unseeing what is seen.'

'I know that,' Gabriel's attention is already drifting from Delphi to her pool. 'I'm not worried about that.'

'What you see is not set in stone,' she cautions again. 'Events are changed just by the knowing of them.'

But Gabriel isn't listening any longer. All his attention is caught up in the swirls and eddies that cross the surface of the pool. The churning water forms patterns that draw his eye to the center where a vision wavers into focus. His breath catches to see it's Michael and Sammael in all their blazing glory locked in battle.

After that, images flash by almost too fast to understand.

It looks like the apocalypse - fire and destruction, brother turning on brother with an astronomical death toll on earth as in heaven.

He is not amused. 

Damn Michael and Sammael anyway. How many times did they have to fight? First Sammael was cast out from heaven, then banished to a cage in the depths of the netherworld. What could they possibly think the outcome would be a third time?

As he watches the swirling waters he sees a vision of what that outcome would be and it is not pretty. The earth is left in burning chaos that echoes across all the realms. There is no victor, only misery and death. And damn his brothers again for being so full of themselves that they never once consider the lives of the beings on their battleground, be they mortal or divine.

He loves the earth and all of humanities foibles and has no desire to see it end. A small, quiet part of him can't help but think though that if Sammael escapes the pit there is the possibility Gabriel can reunite with his brothers and ease the ache the broken triad has left in him all these centuries. Even knowing through the bond they share how unlikely a reconciliation between his brothers would be he is unable to kill that small bit of hope.

The mortal family caught in the center of his brothers machinations catch his eye. He sees how the intervention of those from both heaven and hell attempt to turn brother on brother. Wasn't it bad enough Michael and Sammael had to fight, did they have to make their animosity echo on earth as well?

The visions in Delphi's pool leave him shaken and unsure for the first time in centuries. He takes no steps of his own to change events even as he watches his brothers plans come closer to fruition. He barely acknowledges to himself that he's waiting for his Father to step in and make his brothers behave. 

Even if Father doesn't step in, with all the other Gods present on the planet surely one of them will twig to the immensity of what's happening and stop it. With that in mind he carefully sounds out the other Gods who retain great power in the current age. He's left with the impression that the other pantheons view the current impending apocalypse as nothing more than family infighting, no different than when the Titans rebelled against Olympus.

All those millennium ago his Father told him it was his responsibility to provide balance and sanity between his brothers. As much as he still loves and misses Michael and Sammael he doesn't want to get pulled back in to the mess of his family again. He thought that was all behind him. That he had made new families on earth where he was wanted and even loved. But if none of the others saw how great the threat this apocalypse posed to them all he was afraid he would have to become involved.

Unsure of what to do and still not wanting to be overtly involved, he decides he needs to know more about these Winchesters that the whole damn apocalypse is hinging on; if he can somehow influence events without his brothers discovering his involvement that would be ideal. Observing them from a distance he discovers a family of hunters and he witnesses two brothers who love humanity as much as he does - who work tirelessly to protect innocents from things they'd never understand.

Watching how they interact with each other he sees how they represent his brothers in their aspect. Dean the older brother always following orders and doing the right thing regardless of the cost to himself or others, Sam, always questioning, never satisfied with the status quo and unable to understand why his brother would be. At seeing how closely they mirror Michael and Sammael he's surprised when there isn't a third brother to fill out the triad and provide balance.

In a brief fit of self-pity he thinks there might be no stand-in for him because he's expendable, unnecessary. Shaking off the momentary pang of melancholy he reassures himself that since he has no desire to be one of those fighting there is no need for him to have a stand-in.

If the visions from the Oracle's pool are true, then these brothers are going to be instrumental in the fight between his brothers and any hope for humanity lies in their ability to resist the influences of both heaven and hell.

He's not sure if mere mortals will be able to take on his brothers though. He needs to get a closer perspective, to interact with them in order to gauge their faith in each other first hand. There's a few people in Springfield, Ohio that deserve his attention and what he's got in mind for them is sure to get the Winchester's attention as well.


End file.
